can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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