he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
