put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i was born a porn star she said
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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