guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i will never coherently bang her
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
