he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I lost the right to judge tonight
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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