wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I am available for nakedness
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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