i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
