I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
