You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
