Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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