Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
be right there i have to get my cape
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
