Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
