She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
