i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just cropdusted the office
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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