Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
