Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
