My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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