ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
