Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
