Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
