omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
