Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
