he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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