please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
