I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
