just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
