I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
