It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
