Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
