I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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