I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
