The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
