I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
