Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
