She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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