Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
