The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Alive.
So much puke
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
