Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
