remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
