found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Im part way to drunk.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
