I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
