I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
