Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
