Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize