you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
