Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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