Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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