i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Even my vagina gasped.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
