Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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