Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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