after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
