Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
