i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
