im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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